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Funny Quotes For Everyone
Funny Quotes : If you want to laugh then we have taken good care of you in this post. We are here to make you laugh at some of the best Funny Quotes for Everyone.
You can apply these funny quotes as status on WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram or share with your friends on social media to bring smiles to their faces and make them happy.
1.”Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” —Stanley Hudson, The Office
2. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” ―Mindy Kaling
3. “I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.”—W.C. Fields
4. “People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” —Joan Rivers
5. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” —Elbert Hubbard
6. “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” ―Mae West
7. “Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” —Charlie Brown
8. “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” —James Branch Cabell
9. “I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.” ―Bill Watterson
10. “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ―Mae West
11. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”―W.C. Fields
12. “I love mankind… it’s people I can’t stand!!”― Charles M. Schulz
13. “I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.” ―Oscar Wilde
14. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” —Michael Scott, The Office
15. ”Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe.”―Albert Einstein
16. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” ―Cathy Guisewite
17. “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” ―Isaac Asimov
18. “When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.” —Lily Tomlin
19. “I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”—Zach Galifianakis
20. “I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” —Kevin Malone, The Office
Funny Inspirational Quotes
21.“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
22.“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
27- “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” –Robert Benchley
31. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” — Thomas Edison
32. “Be happy, it drives people crazy.” — Paulo Coelho
33. “Bad decisions make good stories.” — Ellis Vidler
34. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished— If you’re alive it isn’t.” — Richard Bach
36. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney
37. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” — Bill Watterson
38. “Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.” — Harry Emerson Fosdick
39. “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” — Terry Pratchett
Funny Daily Quotes
40. “Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow.”- Unknown
41. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” — Terry Pratchett
42. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar
43. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire
44. “See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly.” — George Harris
45. “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” — Isaac Asimov
46. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” — Oscar Wilde
47. “Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine.” — Lord Byron
48. “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.” — Charles Bukowski
49.” “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”- Unknown
50. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
Short Funny Quotes
51.“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” — Oscar Wilde
52. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.” — African proverb quoted by the Dalai Lama
54. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
55.“I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” — Louis Agassiz
56. “When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best — that is inspiration.” — Robert Bresson
57. “When life brings big winds of change that almost blow you over, close your eyes, hang on tight, and believe.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang
58. “Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.”
59.“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” — Frank Zappa
Funny Sayings About Life
60.“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.” — Charles J. Sykes
61. “You can’t shine like a diamond, if you not willing to get cut like a diamond! “- Eric Thomas
62.” A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.”- Charles Gordy
63.”It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them.”- Rose MacAulay
64.”Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.”- Frank Moore Colby
65.”There are three ways in life to become popular: be rich, be beautiful, or be funny.”-Jon Macks
66. “The truth hurts, and so would you if you were stretched as much.”- Unknown
67.”I don’t have a funny bone in my body; now I know why my surgeon’s bills are so high.”- Rory R. Cuphist
68.”Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time.”- Margaret Bonnano
69.”I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.”- Maya Angelou
Fun Thought of the Day
70.”I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”- Woody Allen
71.”A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” – Irish Proverb
72.”Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.”- Charles M. Schulz
73.”Photography without seeing would be like eating without tasting.”- David McKay
74.”If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.”- Confucius
75.”Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.”- Will Rogers
76.”A business like an automobile, has to be driven, in order to get results.”- BC Forbes
77.”Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” – Audrey Hepburn
78.”Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.”- Will Rogers
79.”I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”- Gandhi
80.”You cannot be anything if you want to be everything.”- Solomon Schechter
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