Being a girl is really hard. It’s not just hard because, as a girl, we bleed 5 days a month, and our hormones regulate our mood, but it’s from the day we realized we were born into a society that values men more than women and discriminate on the basis of gender. Many of us face the disappointed look of their father’s face for not having a son because, to him, only sons, not daughters, can handle essential matters in the family.
It’s hard from the first PE(Physical Education) class when our gender and physical strength were tied to one word: weak. From the time we struggled to get our voice heard, our opinions valued as we were the only female in the room. And being a female is automatically assumed to be less smart, less capable. and from the realization that we will always have to do more, do better to prove our ability, our worthiness.
Being a girl means everything never seems to be right. We were told every day that we need to change something about our body, our face to be happy, to be accepted, to be loved. We were taught that beauty is essential to our identity, and giving birth is our purpose of existence, and thus, if we are not beautiful, yet single and childless, there must be something inherently wrong with us that needs to be fixed.
On the other hand, if we are beautiful, it’s even a greater sin because we are only valued based on our stunning looks that can be showcased at home. It does not matter about our brain, our soul, or anything that makes us whole. As a man touches us and says you are sexy, you are irresistible while disregarding all what we are. And what we have to say, we come to hate every delicate part of our body, our curves, our attractiveness because we are led to believe they stand in the way of us being appreciated as a human.
Being a girl is hard because our body and sexuality is somehow everyone’s business. We are judged for the clothes we wear, the people we are with, and every little choice we make about what to do with our own bodies. We were compared to cows and locks, and our sexuality becomes a commodity attached to our value. Also, when it comes to sex, there is no way to win as a girl because if we sleep with a man too soon, we are considered as a slut, and If we refuse their advances, then we are regarded as a prude.
And because they are man, it’s understandable for them NOT to be able to control themself and want to have sex with us, but it will be our fault if we are assaulted or raped by them because we don’t know how to say no, or because we don’t have self-respect, or because our clothes are too revealing, or because we are stupid. Even if we are not assaulted or raped, we will always have to worry about being seen as easy and cheap even though it’s just as normal of us as of a man to have sexual desires when being intimate with someone we are attracted to.
It’s always because we are a girl. Everything is because we are a girl. We need manuals and instructions to 6breathe, to live, to please others because we are a girl. We are a girl, so we are always the emotional, the sensitive, the vulnerable, the weak one, and most of the time, it’s not by choice. We cry ourselves to sleep because we struggle to be loved for us, for the person we are, not for being a female we physically appear to be, not as a sexual object we are degraded to be.
All that being said, wewon’t deny that being a woman is powerful and wonderful, and we love being a woman like our mother, sisters, grandmothers, and all the women in the world. We wouldn’t trade anything for these feminine curves, imperfect stretch marks, for being able to create new lives and the magical maternal bond we would have with our child from inside our womb till its first cry.
But yes, the whole thing is incredibly hard. At times we don’t even know how to be a girl. We wish we could just turn into a wise woman and make no mistake, but we are never smart enough, and we will always make mistakes. We will still cry and still struggle, but I guess we have no better choice than to start from accepting ourselves as a woman and embrace every bit of that womanliness.
Being a girl is hard, but I’m strong, and I will fight, will try my best. And would like to suggests you too, be strong and keep fight.